No cozy little corners in Starbucks. No Snakes hiding out in my dining room. No horror stories …

Just a day off. That’s all, world. No more, no less.

Do you realize the crazy things I could do with Wifi anywhere and everywhere at my disposal? Insane things would happen. Chances are, I would blog on a daily basis like I did in the old days. When I lived off of pure adrenaline and lack of sleep. Ah … the good old days. * sigh *

So I’ve recently bought a car. And in the process of all this lovely stuff — which isn’t as easy as signing papers and handing over one lump sum that would make your eyes water a little bit — I had one of those shining moments. There I was, sitting in those metal scoopy chairs just waiting for them to call my number, with every intention of signing papers and hitting the road.

Oh contraire, mon frair. Because it was in that single moment that I discovered something called hidden fees piling up on top of tags, titles and loans. Can you imagine? Oh the irony of it all in a single moment, I felt my pulse quicken and I felt slightly dizzy. Of course it sounds a little absurd. After all, what kind of world have I been living in all along? The money didn’t get me, not even the fact that I had just signed the next two years of my life away — well actually, THAT part did a little — it was the sudden hidden fees that got me.

My dad called and the longer I talked, he could sense I was freaking out. He’s good like that. And what do you think the girl did? She started tearing up right there. Right there in the middle of DMV where big burly men were renewing truckers license, high school kids were failing driving tests, and little old ladies were being declined for poor eye-sight. Oh what a mess the girl made of what might have been an enjoyable visit to the DMV.

After all, who doesn’t love giving strangers a chunk of hard-earned cash she just about broke her neck to make, hmm? I mean, REALLY …

So I do the only sensible thing. I fake happiness, like I’m loving giving these poker-faced people behind the counter my money | pretending I don’t wonder why the heck it’s so expensive to live these days. For $200 + I get a teeny stack of little white papers that only mean anything if important people like cops or robbers read or steal them, and two green stickers to tell the world I’ve paid my dues & all. Yeah, it made me feel a little sick to be real honest. But I sucked it up, and told myself it would be alright. After that, I welcomed myself to the real world, and climbed into my car.

The whole thing only ended up sounding remotely funny when I shared all this good grown-up woe to my girlfriends, Carolyn and Hannah. We all had a good laugh about it, and by this time I’d already given the whole thing up anyways. So there you have it, ya’ll … and only ’cause I promised I would. * winks *

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