Last time, I was sitting in a cute little corner at Starbucks enjoying the sunshine from inside. Tonight, I’m scrunched up into the tiniest possible ball in my living room, squinting into the deepest darkest corners and anywhere my nemesis might possible be hiding.

A foot long snake ventured into our dining room tonight while I was at work, and this is how my amazing daddy greets me the moment I walk in the door … “Hold on. Stop, don’t move.” Naturally, I’m about midstep so I stop dead on the spot. He flips on the light and peers over my shoulder where I just dropped my work shoes. “There was a snake there today.”

My heart actually stopped beating, I’m almost sure of it. First I laughed; some joke, yes? And then I wanted to cry as I stared open-mouthed as he began to relay all the gorey little details of how the snake had somehow gotten in the front door. This was hardly funny.

But just bear with me here, and help me pretend a snake never invaded my quiet, adorable house. Okay? Cause right now, I’ve got all kinds of little bumps on my stomach and my arms. I itch something awful and every little noise makes me kind of jump. The fact that my Father was hissing from beneath the covers in the other room a moment ago isn’t working miracles, either.

It’s probably those darn chickens … I’ve never had a snake in my house, people. Never. Do you know this? I’m saying, before we got our chickens and before my mommy thought it was a wonderful idea to stick our very first lovely | warm egg on our kitchen counter like some hippie home-grown prize we never had this problem.

I blame it on the chickens. Because really, if you were a nasty | slithering little snake wouldn’t you want to scarf down a nice – warm little egg straight from the coop? Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking … and even after considering this and discussing it with my parents, I’m still freaking out a lot on the inside out.
Shivers run down my spine, world.
 
BUT on a brighter note — see, cause I know I’ll eventually have to go to sleep and I don’t want to even be thinking about snakes when I do — my energy level was like Zero when I finally started closing dining room tonight, so in a moment of desperation, I threw together an amazing Iced Coffee that would pretty much knock your socks off. It did wonders and so did all my cfa buddies. We were all cracking up and goofing off something terrible. For some reason we weren’t crazy busy, so we had fun and still got all our work done.
 
I just wanna say that Jeff D’beck is pretty much a hero. So Carolyn and I — who have a strange love | fake hate relationship — are taking out the last load of trash around 10 o’clock. We both agree that with as many boxes as we have to take out, and with the dumpster already overflowing of cardboards, etc. one of us really should compact the trash.
 
We’re not fancy at Cfa — we leave that kind of thing to Heinz 57 and their cute little Ketchup Packets — we don’t have one of those official trash compactors. Basically, the trash compactor is … Us. Me & my buddy Carolyn. Isn’t that terribly lucky? * winks *
 
So after discussing it amongst ourselves, we decide I would climb up on the dumpster and have a go at it. I don’t remember exactly why we decided on me, but that’s beside the point. Halfway up, Carolyn says “Oh! You’ve got a skirt on.” I look down at her with a smirk, I’m sure I involuntarilly winked then too … “Oh my goodness! Why didn’t you tell me before I got up here?!” * more winks * 
 
So she’s down there laughing at me and tossing up more boxes as I proceed to jump on the overflow. It’s all going fine and dandy up there, the pile is going down and suddenly so am I. Apparently there was a hole in that big old dumpster where boxes hadn’t ended up earlier, so I slid ride down. I looked heavenward with a holler, and said “Thank you, God. It’s only cardboard.”
 
We were still out there — me on top of the dumpster, Carolyn on the ground: both still cracking up in wheezey | asthmatic giggles — when Jeff comes running out the back door asking if we’re okay. That only made us laugh more, and when Jeff figured out what happened, he laughed too.
 
Oh my goodness, it was such a crazy night. Everything from Jeff’s awesome tan which we shall all pretend not to be insanely jealous of | the demonic sounding noises in our slide — you really should hear them, they always creep me out just a little | dancing in the bathroom | our awesome cow for kid’s night | and a bunch of other craziness.
 
So I’ve ALMOST forgotten to think about the snake but I’m maybe considering going out tomorrow and replacing my lost cat. Romeo is too spoiled rotten to be on the look out for things like snakes. I’d rather have a cute, adorable little puppy though … just sayin’. * smiles *
 

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